How To Develop Emotional Intelligence

03/04/18  |  Rebecca Perez  |  419 views


I was having dinner with my sister in law, when she turned to me out of the blue and said: "you know, I really admire how you never stress about anything. I wish I could be more like that". It made me realize two things: 1) YES! Finally it was working. 2) If you spoke to me a few years ago, you wouldn't be saying that. 

What exactly is "emotional intelligence/ IQ"?

In simpler terms, being emotional intelligent, or having a high EQ means to be aware and in control of your emotional states. 

I used to be an emotional MESS! I didn't know how to control my emotions the least bit. I realized it was a serious problem when I started dating my ex boyfriend who is a Doctor. He's a general practitioner so he has over ten years of practical knowledge on controlling his emotions. Let's just say, I caught the summary of that in our two year relationship. He really taught me the foundation of emotions and what they represent.

Then of course being the Curious George that I am, that new knowledge got me digging for more information. I read endless books and listened to podcasts on self awareness, mental states, and EQ. I learned slowly but surely how to use my emotions to work WITH me instead of against me. 

Now that I'm very self aware and in tune with my physiological state, it's almost like I have no choice but to share my knowledge - especially with other women. For some reason women are more "accepted" in our society to have a low EQ, to be crazy or to be more dramatic, it's just an excuse. If we learned to think rationally and more objectively about our problems, we wouldn't be stuck in them. 

I remember not too long ago how much time I wasted on my emotional states. Extreme highs, extreme lows. I couldn't understand how or why I felt a certain way. I used to get jealous for no reason, overreact out of no where about a problem that didn't even exist. I would just think about something that bothered me and pick a fight about it for hours. I ruined so many vacations, nights out and even anniversaries because I didn't know how to control my emotional state. 

If you have this problem, then I highly suggest you start acting NOW. Developing a high EQ (Emotional Quotient) is actually more important than your IQ (especially if you're an entrepreneur). The first thing I encourage you to do is to read Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. That's the first thing I did. Read it a few times, so that you really understand the basics of it.

Then I suggest you read up on Mel Robbins and the 5 second rule. This rule has literally changed my life and the way I interact in day to day situations. Wether you're searching for happiness in your relationships, or closing a deal in business, having a high EQ is the key to life. 

Cover Photo credit - WeHeartIt

"Emotions are like a toolbox, you have to use the right tool to get the job done."