Empowered, Secure, Loved
Meet Dr. Morgan Anderson, Relationship Coach, Attachment Theory Expert, and Creator of the E.S.L. Relationship Method. Her mission is to help women get off the dating rollercoaster, raise their self-worth, and attract the healthy relationship they desire. She created the Empowered.Secure.Loved Program because she knew women needed a clear path to secure attachment and love that lasts. With the science of attachment theory, data from hundreds of clients, and her own experiences she has created a program that transforms her clients from lonely, to loved! On a mission to change the way women view themselves and attract love in their lives, here is her journey.
Can you walk us through what brought you into this space?
In the second year of my doctoral program, I was at Pacific University getting a Doctorate in clinical psych, trying to better myself and become a psychologist. I got into a relationship with someone who seemed like Prince Charming, my “dream come true.”
The first six months of our relationship were like a fairy tale — and I learned later on that what I was experiencing was love bombing. I was in that relationship for a year and a half. After trying to leave the relationship about four times, a police report was filed. I ended up being okay but it was a very scary incident that had occurred. My lowest point was — in the lobby of my apartment building, talking with a police officer, literally sitting on the floor because I was so emotionally wrecked that I didn’t feel like I could stand, completely isolated from family and friends because of this relationship, zero self-worth, hated my life, totally lost — filing that police report.
At that point, I knew that I could not live that way, that I could never go through this kind of relationship again, that I needed to figure out why I was doing what I was doing, and I needed to heal and hopefully have a great relationship. All I could think was “I just want to feel okay, I just want to love myself.” That was the thing that really started my healing journey. From that point forward, I dedicated my career in the Ph.D. program to studying attachment theory and really understanding relationship dynamics. I set out to help as many women as possible avoid the pain that I had gone through.
What advice would you give to a younger version of yourself that was in that situation?
I would say, do not postpone your healing. I think one thing that so many women can relate to is we want to help everyone else and we want to serve others and we offput other people’s needs before our own. I would say as early as you can — get help. Do the healing work. You are worthy of investing in yourself, and the earlier that you do it, the better.
How do you embody success in your daily life?
This definition of how we embody the healed version, embody success, embody the securely attached self, I think of it as my highest self. The way that I do that is I have a really great relationship with myself. I have so much self-compassion, I have so much awareness. My outer world matches my inner world when it comes to values, alignment, and what I want. I’m aware of how I want to feel. I’m very intentional about my relationships and my work and my friendships, everything matching up to support me in that. I know that requires me to speak my truth, set boundaries, and be open and honest about what I want. So to me, this highest version of me is really about honoring myself and being unapologetic about expressing who I am to the world.
What practices do you implement for helping clients manifest healthy, abundant love?
That’s what everyone comes to me for. They come to the Empowered. Secure. Loved. program, and they really want a healthy, securely attached relationship. One of the first practices that we help clients with is fully releasing their past and providing awareness around why they have repeatedly experienced heartache. Then I help them get really clear on what they actually want, and to design the relationship model that feels good to them. Because so many of us have been raised with relationship models that do not serve us. We see these couples who are together but maybe they’re not really emotionally connected, or they’re not able to be emotionally safe in their relationship. So we have all of these relationship models floating around but we’ve never intentionally created a model that feels good, one that we would actually want. To get what we want, we have to become the version of ourselves that attracts it. Inside of the program clients learn to embody the securely attached and confident version of themselves who effortlessly attracts the great relationship they deserve.
What routines or rituals do you implement regularly to stay in ease and flow?
The routines that I had, even six months ago, look a little bit different now. And that’s because, at my core, I’m really in tune with what I need. The most important thing for me, is that I make the space for that time. I have a non-negotiable hour every single morning where I tune in to what I need. That’s usually journaling or reading, it might be some form of meditation or prayer. I ask myself what I need during that hour and I honor it. Then I have a daily, non-negotiable movement rule where I will go to the gym and lift weights or do some yoga or go on a long walk. Daily movement is non-negotiable.
The other thing that stays consistent is gratitude. I will write five things that I’m grateful for every single day. They’re usually very small, sometimes they’re bigger things. But it helps me stay grounded in the present, in that “attitude of gratitude.”
What kind of courses do you have for women who want to join your space?
The Empowered. Secure. Loved. Program is a combination of everything that I have learned in my own research, life experience, career as a psychologist, rewiring your brain for a healthy relationship, and the science of attachment theory applied to your dating life. It’s an eight-week program and it is application only; we encourage those ready for massive healing and growth to apply. You can find the application on my Instagram, in the link in my bio. At this point, I’m thrilled to share that we’ve helped hundreds of women. It kind of blows my mind. We’ve had hundreds of women go through the program and become that securely attached, confident version of themselves that loves themselves fully and easily attracts a great relationship. In addition to the program, I am hosting the first ever Empowered.Secure.Loved Live Retreat October 14th, and 15th in my home state of Montana. The sign-up link is my IG bio as well.
When it comes to manifesting, what is your vision for the future?
I’m proud to say here at Dr. Morgan Coaching, we’ve helped hundreds of women and we will continue to grow that number to thousands and to even millions one day.
The other big thing that I manifested is that I have my very first book coming out in November 2022. It’s called Love Magnet: Get Off the Dating Roller Coaster and Attract the Love You Deserve. And I’m incredibly excited about that. I have wanted to be an author since I was ten years old, and it’s finally happening.
What are your gifts to the world?
My gifts to the world are hope, healing, transformation, and evidence that you’re never too broken to change your life.
Photo Credit – Allie Chambers Photography
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